Atone

My “Enneathought” for today says: “The inevitable consequence of deteriorating down the Levels into being dominating and confrontational with others undermines your Basic Desire to be truly strong and ironically brings on your Basic Fear of being destroyed or violated by others.”

Today is Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. My wife stopped by to take the kids to synagogue. They weren’t ready. As I was telling my youngest to put her socks in the hamper, my wife started mumbling about my giving them chores when it was time to leave. So I asked her if she could please wait outside while they finished. She went to pick up a nearby friend, and when she returned, the kids left without telling me.

I stopped myself from texting her: YOU TAUGHT THEM TO BE LATE AND TO THINK IT’S OK TO LEAVE WITHOUT EVEN GIVING THEIR FATHER A KISS GOODBYE.

As I was writing this email, the doorbell rang and Christian proselytizers were there asking if I thought something was about to happen to change the world. Normally I just say no thanks and shut the door, but today, I took a breath. I told them it was Yom Kippur and that’s a day for thinking about just that kind of thing. Their eyes brightened and they pulled out the Bible and said since “you have the Koran,” I should be able to relate to a passage in the Book of Daniel (maybe they thought Yom Kippur was a Muslim holiday?).

I said Jews wrote that Daniel stuff (and that, by the way, we all “have” the Koran). As they explained there would be a time when the heavenly kingdom would rule instead of the government of man, which they complained about along with the suffering in Italy and the Middle East and all around us today, they also made it pretty clear that they have no faith in their fellow man, only in God. I told them I was an atheist and had faith that every one of us can try to make the world a better place one day at a time. After I declined to take their literature, we wished each other a good day.

The fasting is causing me to lose my train of thought. In the shower after I woke, I decided I’d start this blog, and thought my first entry would be funny stories about internet dating as a middle-aged man. You'll have to wait for the one about the lady who turned out to be a convicted felon and listed in the Village Voice as one of NYC’s ten worst tenants....

I accepted a sweet invitation to a break-fast this evening that I received from the wife of one of my wife’s employees. I warned her I might not stay long; socializing with my wife under the circumstances is awkward to say the least.

Wish me luck!